Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my freaking Gawd! Could my secret boyfriend and super hottie Jake Gyllenhaal be trying to hook up with this....??????????

Mischa Barton?!?!?! WTF???? Dude, you can see her breast-plate in this picture. That is not what I call sexy. She's like a walking cadaver with a bobble-head. Why? Why Jake? Why? I shudder to think...about so many things on this one. Not the least of which is the fact that she looks an awful lot like Kirsten Dunst, his ex. *shudder*

I don't begrudge my man his flings, but I mean come on! Pick someone who actually ingests food on a daily basis Jakey! Quite frankly, I'd rather he be having an affair with his dude-pal, who he's been spotted with a lot lately. Check it out here. The other guy is hot too and he clearly isn't ready to blow over under the onslaught of the next small gust of wind. In essence, much better looking than fucking Mischa "I'm anorexic" Barton.

I must go and cleanse the mental palette now....

Jakey won a BAFTA!!!

Hee-hee! Perhaps you thought my Jake affliction had been cured? His shining presence has not graced the space of my blog in a while...but never fear. He's back with a vengeance! (Isn't this picture just tooo cute?! What an adorable smile. Mmmm....he's such a charmer.) So enough drooling on my part, down to the exciting news--good old Jakey won the prestigious BAFTA award (British version of the Oscars) for best supporting actor in Brokeback Mountain! I'm positively thrilled by this news. As so many of you know, I've been quite outraged by the lack of hype he's gotten over here in the USA for his work in this film. I don't think he'll get the Oscar unfortunately, but I'm psyched that he got the BAFTA. Those Brits know their stuff, yo.

Bride and Prejudice

Several friends had recommended a while back that I see this film, a sort of Bollywood-esque take on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice which has long been a favorite novel of mine. On top of that, I really like Gurinder Chadha's other movie Bend it Like Beckham, so I was very excited to see this one. In much the same aesthetic vein, Bride and Prejudice is filled with beautiful Indian women and some really hot Indian men (as well as one not too shabby American dude). There are also a few repeat actors (the man and woman who played Jess' parents in the first Beckham movie). What I really loved about this particular movie were the song and dance numbers. It is in fact subtitled "The Bollywood Musical." I must admit that I haven't really seen any Bollywood films so I can't make any comparisons, but I'm definitely intrigued now after having seen this one. Being the flashy wardrobe ho that I am, I was immediately sucked in by the exquisite costumes and fabulous jewelry/accessories in the film. The singing was so-so (I thought the songs lacked stylistic variety), but the dancing was really great. Some excellent choreography (well, in my opinion anyway) and as usual it made me wish I could dance. I have no rhythm, even less grace, and next-to-no physical coordination. A few days ago I'd seen Baz Luhrmann's Strictly Ballroom for the first time, and watching this film so close on the heels of that one sent my mind into a tizzy creating all kinds of fantasies about moi dancing like some modern day Ginger Rogers in a tarted up costume with plenty of sparkle and pizazz. Needless to say, for those who've seen me struggle in vain to follow along with even the most basic fitness video routines, this is about as far-fetched as I can get. I am, in a word, physically spastic. No joke folks. (Violet knows the whole sad story, having seen a particularly inept effort of mine to follow along with a yoga video) But it's fun to dream I suppose.

The actual narrative of the film was a bit less than compelling. When I go to see an adaptation that attempts to do something new with an old text, I'm expecting really ingenious or exciting innovation. But Bride and Prejudice doesn't really do much more than situate the same story in a different context. There are nearly exact lines taken from the original text and when delivered they seem a bit stilted at times. And while it still works as an adaptation the film, I was hoping for something a bit more innovative I suppose. I think the song and dance numbers were what really redeemed the film for me and kept me interested. But the romance itself seemed to take a bit of a backseat, so that I didn't really feel the vibe all that strongly between the Darcy and Lalita. Similarly, while the film frequently suggests a familial prohibition against Lalita marrying a non-Indian man, she and Darcy end up getting married at the end with no comment from her family. This seemed a bit odd to me given that this had been implied as a major problem at several points in the movie. Thus, the resolution at the end seemed a bit hasty and unbelievable to me. But I would still say this is a cute movie worth a watch, especially for those hard-core Austen fans out there.

Anime Review: Midori no Hibi

A few weeks ago I decided it was time to order some new anime. (Yes, I'm a super nerd I admit it) I hadn't actually bought anything new in quite some time because I've been spending more on manga anyway and because, quite frankly, I haven't had time to watch anything or money to spend. But then my good old government loans came in and I was able to shell out some of my meager TA funds to buy some import anime. Today I'll be reviewing the first series I bought and watched over the weekend, Midori no Hibi (Midori Days). This anime is an interesting cross between shojo and shonen. The lead character is a guy (Seiji) who is cute but doesn't seem to have any luck with girls (fairly typical plot line). He's been rejected by girls more than twenty times and starts to think he's never going to get a girlfriend. The reason the chicks are staying away, however, is due to the fact that he possesses a super strong right hand which he uses to beat up bad dudes all the time. Hence he gets the nickname of "Mad Dog" and is perceived to be a delinquent in the eyes of his classmates who fear being pummeled by his mighty fist of fury. But of course, Seiji is actually a pretty good guy. He fights for the underdog and helps out the helpless.

Unbeknowst to him, there is in fact a girl who likes him (of course). Her name is Midori and she's a shy gal who goes to another high school. She's been crushing on him from afar but is too shy to go up and talk to him. So when Seiji wishes for a girlfriend one day, a bizarre magical occurence happens. He wakes up in the morning to find...his right hand has been transformed into a pint size version of said girl! This whole absurd but hilarious plot strategy really appealled to my warped sense of humor and made me buy the series. The rest of the narrative follows Seiji as he tries to adapt to having a miniature girl for a right hand (with appropriately wacky scenarios that unfold). Midori also conquers her fears and reveals that she's in fact in love with Seiji and tries to win his heart in a typical shojo fashion. While this storyline could have become redundant, at a scant 13 episodes (pretty short for an anime series) it doesn't. In fact, the humor is quite nuanced at points and the love story is cute but not overly saccharine. Seiji is a fun character and one the viewer is immediately made to empathize with (especially once we meet his crazy biker-chick older sister). Midori is really cute and quite funny as well and she's not as annoying as other cutesy anime chicks. The teen angst surrounding unrequited love and unarticulated emotions is well played out and the ending is both satisfying and appropriate.

Feminist ruminations while in stirrups

So, today was that one day of the year that all women know they need to suck it up and face. The day when a gal goes to the doctor to have her cooch poked, prodded, and examined in the austere clinical surroundings of a health center. Yes folks, today was my annual gyno exam. I've been having one each year since I turned 18 at the recommendation of the many medical folks in my family. And at the ripe old age of 26 I now feel like something of a pro. I've seen a wide variety of doctors, and even one who was a "real" gynecologist, but so far the best I've ever had is the woman I see now who is a registered nurse. Now, I don't know if other gals rate their pap providers but I do. I think that there's a bit of an art to performing a good gyno exam. Truly. Firstly, the examiner needs to have some real understanding of the vagina. Not textbook stuff folks. You'd be surprised how many medical professionals don't seem to have come close to pussy in their entire lives. Because let's face it--it's a sensitive place down there and having a plastic instrument inserted in it, cranking open your holiest of holes, is not a particularly pleasant experience. Then of course there's the whole swabbing of the cervix and then the pelvic "finger" examination. And all with someone you don't know very well. Quite frankly men have it easy with the prostate exam and the medical establishment isn't particularly forceful in terms of making young men go get examined once a year despite increased rates of testicular cancer among younger dudes (we all know about Tom Green, yo) and despite the fact that they routinely spend money on getting women to go have annual exams which frequently aren't covered by insurace providers. To me that seems indicative of yet another gender bias in the system. Because if more men were getting tested regularly, STDs on their end could be found out much more quickly. For example, the pap test checks for HPV--an STD particularly dangerous to women that can lead to infertility and cervical cancer--and yet men aren't being tested for carrying it and thus being able to give it to any of their partners. Although it seems HPV doesn't really affect men in a dangerous fashion, it is a major cause of cervical cancer in women. So why aren't men being tested as well? Why aren't they routinely encouraged, through various media and medical campaigns, to have an annual exam? This would be a preventative measure that would help women. When women are tested if they find out they have it there isn't really anything they can do. It's not curable. When I've talked to guys about this they all get very uncomfortable with the idea of an exam that requires a finger up their hiney. Many straight guys think it's a "humiliating" kind of exam while others of the more homophobic variety have more virulent responses. But what is so infuriating to me is that they aren't willing to sacrifice a bit of their pride for a few minutes once a year to have their genitals examined. I'm angry that they don't worry about testicular or prostate cancer for themselves. But I'm even angrier still that they care more about their perceived masculinity than about protecting their partners. It's just total bullshit. Because conversely they want their girlfriends to get tested. I say, you can't have it both ways you fucktards.

Needless to say, my feminist fist o' fury gets a hankering to pummel some patriarchal ass when these kinds of things flit under my radar. Regulating and controlling female sexuality is still the modus operandi of the state, even more so these days under Bush and his conservative cronies. Yet straight male sexuality is still streated like an inalienable and untouchable right. Female sexuality is made to seem in need of state intervention, examination, regulation, and control. So as these thoughts were going through my mind while I was lying prone in stirrups today I began reflecting back on Rachel Maines' excellent book The Technology of Orgasm: "Hysteria," the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction. I highly recommend this book, as not only an interesting historical read but a thought-provoking take on a feminist issue. In it she talks about the medicalization of female sexuality, in particular with the bourgeois malaise of hysteria. Women (well, only those with money really) went to doctors to treat a wide variety of symptoms all classed under the broad but mysterious umbrella of "hysteria." But namely, it was believed that fatigue, headaches, body pains, and just about any other complaint from a female meant that she was suffering from hysteria (or womb frenzy). Doctors believed that "fluids" had become blocked up in the womb and needed to be expelled. So they'd treat women with genital massage. That's right. You could go to your doctor and get him to wax on, wax off your clitoris. Of course, at the time this was not seen as sexual. Only vaginal penetration was considered to be sex (and frequently still is seen this way today). Doctors didn't believe the clitoris to be a critical part of the female anatomy and generally didn't think women could achieve orgasm--or if they did, it could only happen during penetrative sex. Ironically enough therefore, men were more concerned about the creation of the speculum than manual massage. They thought that women would potentially become lust-crazed whores who wanted to have the speculum used on them every time they went to the doctor. Today we might find this incredibly humorous, but in many respects men and the medical establishment still don't know a lot about female sexuality or the female genitals. We still don't know about all the nerves that connect to the clitoris and how they work (hence situations in which some women end up losing clitoral sensation after having C-sections when nerves are unexpectedly cut). And yet for as much as we don't know about these things, we don't spend a lot of time and money on research about women. Much more seems to be spent on helping cure erectile dysfunction in men, because their sex lives are evidently so much more important.

This has repeatedly hit home for me at many of my Feminst Reading Group meetings and with various friends over the years. I keep meeting women who have never looked at their genitals. Women who have never had an orgasm. Women who don't know how to masturbate. Women who feel shame over their vagina. Women who think their sexual needs don't matter. Women who believe a lot of male bullshit and endlessly assuage fraile male egos by faking orgasm. In the twenty first century this is unacceptable. We need to be teaching girls from a young age to take pride in their vaginas and to become more intimately familiar with them. They need to know that masturbation is healthy and that most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, not penetrative sex. And men need to know this to and work to develop an ethics of mutual sexual pleasure with their partners. I like Margaret Cho's concept of putting up a score board and not finishing things until there is an equal tally on both sides. Because really, once a guy gets off that shouldn't be the end of the deal. You gave him his, he should damn well make sure you get yours. As Sue Johanson says, "he has a tongue and ten fingers sweetie."

Coming full circle (I think I'll end this rant before it gets too long) I want to stress that despite the gender bias I perceive in medicine, I still believe the yearly gyno exam is critically important. Many women have died because they didn't get a yearly pap test. Cervical cancer if detected early with a pap test can be cured, but if not it can kill. The same goes for the breast exam that accompanies your pap test. Women need to be examining their breasts once a month. Directly after you've finished your period is best as this is the time your breasts are less likely to be naturally lumpy. Doing a self exam takes less than five minutes of your life once a month and yet so many women, young and old, don't do it. So I encourage any women reading this blog to check their breasts once a month and to get a pap test once a year. It could save your life. And as for any male readers, show how much you respect yourself and your partner by getting an annual exam yourselves.

Some Writerly Musings

It's been a while since I've posted anything on my writerly endeavors of late, and I think this is in large part due to some procrastination and writer's block issues I've been dealing with. Being a grad student isn't just one extended holiday (okay well sometimes it is). For one thing, teaching takes up a considerable portion of my time, and most certainly more than the supposed 16 hours I am being paid a week! I really enjoy it...most of the time at least. This semester I have a particularly bright class and they are making coming to class a very pleasurable experience. That coupled with the other responsibilities I have tends to take time away from research. But I digress.

So I haven't really gotten any major writing done on my dissertation in a while. I have notes and I've been doing research for the next chapter, but I sometimes have a hard time being able to say enough, it's time to start writing and stop reading! I can be a bit OCD about it actually. So anyway, January sort of flew by and February is dwindling away quickly. My brain finally kicked into gear and I've set a deadline for myself (next Friday) to get a draft of the next chapter to my Chair. Then I'll have some time to get feedback from her and make some revisions before I send a shortened version out to a journal that's having a special issue on the very subject of my chapter! Yay! I'm very excited about this, but I'm also irritated with myself. I'd hoped to get this chapter done much earlier. *sigh*

But on a more positive note, I just got the proof edits for my article back! At first I was totally psyched, realizing that I was going to have my first publication out there in a few short months. But then panic descended. Holy crap, my first article. I can't make any mistakes! What if people hate it? What if it's a bunch of drivel? What if..... On and on it went. So I didn't look at it anymore for about a day. Then I gave myself a mental bitch-slap and got cracking yesterday. Fortunately, the edits they suggested are all pretty minor and I agree with most of them. Today I'm finishing up my last once over on the draft and then I'll be overnighting it back to them tomorrow. And then dear readers, you shall see moi in print around late May/early June. I'll keep you posted!

On the completely opposite writing front...not much has been done on novel #2 of late. I somehow got myself stuck plot-wise and I'm not sure what happens next. What I really need to do is sit down and sketch out the rest of the narrative in more detail. I already pretty much know how it will end and I've envisioned several of the key scenes I still need to write, but I'm not quite sure how I want to order them and how they're all going to work together. But every time I sit down to do this I get major guilt that I should be working on my dissertation, so I steer clear of the creative writing and typically end up doing neither. Instead, I surf the Net or madly search for more articles in online databases. Not the best or most productive course of action, as I've come to realize.

I did hear back from one literary agent who had requested the first three chapters of novel #1. Alas, she wasn't interested. But her rejection email was very nice and encouraging. Along the lines of "it doesn't really fit for me but with someone else it could." So not a total crush to my fragile writerly ego. Looking back, I re-assessed some of the author's she represents and I think my work might be a bit too racy for her. She typically handles tamer G to PG rated books with more traditional storylines. Whereas my book is full of cursing, non-virginal chicks, sexual jokes, innuendos, and well...sex. So, if nothing else, this has given me insight into which kinds of literary agents I should be approaching. Never one to take rejection lying down, I immediately went online and began searching through some of the RWA recognized literary agencies and found four more to apply to that I think might fit with my work. Now I just have to wait another 2-4 months before I hear anything back. I still have stuff out to one other agent, but I haven't heard back. The process goes on and my new goal now is just to get an agent by the end of 2006!

NOTE: I've updated my music playlist for any who care to take a gander!

Yaoi Review (Again!)

I know I posted my first yaoi review not too long ago, but the spring season is seeing a wonderful slew of titles emerging and I've been ordering them left and right. Let's just say those publishing bitches are getting a lot of cash out of my poor battered credit card these days.

BeBeautiful is a pretty kick ass company (except for the steep price tag on their yaoi line at the moment!). They are being a bit more selective than some of their competitors in terms of the titles they are bringing out, but I've bought every single one they have published thus far. It was definitely a smart move to nab rights to Kazuma Kodaka's Kizuna series. All the yaoi fangirls and boys know about this one. And volume 5 is quite nail biter I must say! We were left on a cliff-hanger at the end of volume 4 when Kei gets kidnapped by a dissenting yakuza subset. So in volume 5 it's Ran and Kei's half-brother Kai to the rescue. At the same time, tensions between Masa and Kai come to a head in a very awesome little power showdown where Kai stuns not only Masa, but the hapless reader--like moi! I totally didn't see his strategy coming, but let me just say it was cool! He's totally coming into his own and I like that a lot. So now he's seemingly cut ties with Masa and I can't wait to see what that will bring with it in the future. Those two are totally going to hook up at some point...but the sexual tension Kodaka-sensei is building is fabulous. Our main couple, however, don't get any nooky in this volume. But I'm sure they'll more than make up for it in the next one! They usually do. I know that some folks don't like Kodaka-sensei's art all that much. It certainly is a bit of a departure from the more androgynous aesthetic employed by many yaoi mangaka, but I find her more masculine style interesting. And her sense of humor is great!

While I really enjoyed Kizuna 5, what I was even more excited about was Youka Nitta's second volume of Haru wo Daiteita (Embracing Love). When I was at YaoiCon 2 years ago I heard about Nitta-sensei's work from several people, but hadn't actually seen any of it before. So when BeBeautiful announced they'd gotten the publishing rights to her most famous series I was super psyched. And believe me, the first volume TOTALLY delivered! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her artwork. Her characters are gorgeously drawn in sharp, compelling, but minimalist detail. Compared to some other biseinen, these men are not fussily or extravagantly detailed. Don't get me wrong, from some artists I love that. Ayano Yamane in particular--her characters are so detailed that it seems to me that she must spend hours on certain panels, and aesthetically, they blow the mind. Youkka Nitta's work isn't nearly so artistic, but it has a clear-cut simple kind of beauty. A lot of work was put into these characters, but you don't notice it unless you're looking hard enough. I like the fact that she draws frequent close-ups of characters in large perspective. I think she has a particular knack for illustrating scrumptious male torsos and her sex scenes are some of the hottest I've come across. Me likey big time! She also has a wickedly funny sense of humor and it's hugely entertaining to see Katou and Iwaki's relationship as it unfolds. One thing that truly endears this series to me is the fact that Nitta-sensei plays with the whole seme/uke dichotomy. I haven't read the entire series, but from what I've gathered so far this is the first yaoi series I've read that has what are sometimes referred to as "reversibles." Namely, the characters take turns being top and bottom in their sexual relationship. I'm hoping that US publishers are going to start bringing over more of these kinds of series, because from what I've gleaned online it seems like some of the younger up-and-coming yaoi artists are leaning more toward this kind of liberation from expected or rigid sex roles. And that, to me, is very exciting stuff!

It's research yo!

As some of you may or may not know, there is a popular market for what are known as "dating-sim" games in Japan. That title is perhaps a bit understated, given the fact that these games are actually pornographic in content. The majority of them are aimed at a male heterosexual audience and are essentially video game hentai. Nonetheless, there does happen to be a smaller but still important market of BL (boy's love) dating sims aimed at female audiences. I'd heard about some of these but figured they'd never make it to US shores--too controversial I thought. But it would seem I was completely wrong! I was scrounging about online for the latest happenings in the world of yaoi today and found an announcement that JAST USA has just released an English version of the BL game "Enzai--Falsely Accused." Well you bet your sweet asses I zipped straight over to their website and blew $40 on the game, which should be arriving on my doorstep soon. I've heard all kind of talk about this game (there's an infamous OVA anime version that is...to put it mildly...disturbing). But there are also tons of hot bishies and I'm totally intrigued to see how this game plays. One of my friends here works in the burgeoning new area of video game studies and I have a strong suspicion a future essay will be coming out of the "research" I'm planning to do on this game. JAST USA is releasing another BL dating-sim later this year which I'll probably pick up if I have a fruitful experience with this one. I'm not disillusioned. This is totally a pornographic game, but let's face it--my dissertation is largely dealing with material that could be classed as pornographic (boy-love manga, erotica, lesbian comics, etc.). Believe me, I've totally passed into the realm of de-sensitization when it comes to a lot of this stuff. And it seems like everyone I meet in academia is excited about my project and wants to see what I've written. Porn is a totally legitimate realm of academic study. God, I love being in an English Department!

What's my hidden mythical body part?

Hee-hee! I find this sooooo funny. I know Monkey will get a big kick out of this, including the anime-style pic to reflect my monstrosity!!!!


Your hidden mythical body part is the cat ears and
tail. You are adventurous, expressive and
courageous, you are not afraid to voice out
your opinions. As cats, they are playful like
you are. They often scratch objects and
daring to make that move without considering
the consequences; sometimes not following the
rules. They are also persistant in getting
their goals and never give up, like when a
cat lands on its feet even though they had
fallen from somewhere high.

What is your hidden mythical body part? [with pictures]

The Color of a Harlot!

Red is apparently my color...what does that say about me? Let's take a look.


Reds are motivated by POWER, seek productivity, and
need to look good to others. Simply stated,
REDS want their own way. They like to be in
the drivers seat and willingly pay the price
to be in a leadership role. REDS value
whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it
be at work, school, or in their personal
relationships. What REDS value, they get
done. They are often workaholics. They will,
however, resist being forced to do anything
that doesnt interest them.
Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave
approval from others for their intelligence
and insight. They want to be respected even
more than they want to be loved. They want to
be admired for their logical, practical
minds. REDS are confident, proactive,
visionary, and can be arrogant, selfish, and
insensitive. When you deal with a RED, be
precise, factual, and direct.

What Color Are You?

Hmm...I don't know if this really reflects my "true" personality. I think I fit with some of these characteristics but not others.

I do love a nice scarlet red though. Both for clothing or decorating purposes. Bright but deep reds look good on me with my pasty skin and blondish hair. And I like decorating with red. I find it a soothing color oddly enough. I have a lovely red chenille duvet on my bed that makes me happy every time I see it. Someday I want to own an antique divan with dark wood trim and red velvet upholstory...mmmm!