The Infamous Elephantitis Cover

Why is my research so fun? Because I get to read an awful lot of smut!

For some time I was under the impression that there was only one significant publisher (Romentics) for gay male romance novels (the subject of an upcoming chapter for the dissertation). Then I found out just how wrong I was. A new press, Seventh Window Publications, recently emerged with this fine new offering--The Price of Temptation. I first came across this book on the wonderful Smart Bitches website under one of their regular sections on cover snark, which always amuses me. Romance novels do tend to have the most ludicrous covers in the publishing industry, so I appreciate catty humorous discourse about the more painfully awful ones.

Well, The Price of Temptation is pretty high up on the "most improbable cover" ever list. Among netizens it's pretty commonly referred to as the "infamous testicular elephantitis" cover. I mean it really does look like that guy has some disturbingly large and deformed mutant cock hiding in his pantaloons. But damn if it didn't make me curious! So as soon as I spotted this sucker I knew I had to shell out $12 to buy it for...er...(cough)...research.

When it arrived in the mail today I settled in for a read, prepared for all kinds of terrible writing with the requisite purple prose about gigantic cocks--although I was hoping elephantitis was not the actual reason for said huge and undoubtedly lustful "members." To my pleasant surprise, however, the book was actually pretty good. The writing wasn't terrible and the erotic content was fairly tame compared to some stuff I've read. (Yes, I'm totally desensitized at this point) In the end, I rather found myself liking the book. First of all, it's a Regency romance!!!! I fucking love those things. Curse you Georgette Heyer! It had all the expected witty reparte loaded with sexual undercurrents and innuendos, elaborate descriptions of period clothing, and of course, it was set in the London ton.

Our two protaganists are men from very different backgrounds. Stephen Clair is the Earl of St. Joseph, a wealthy aristocrat who doesn't hide his gay sexuality despite social disapproval. James (Jamie) Riley is the bastard son of a former member of the gentry disowned by her family after becoming pregnant out of wedlock. He is a much akin to the "bluestocking" archetype in hetero romances--very bookish and smart, but also *gasp* a VIRGIN! Even at the rather advanced age of 22. But then again, who can blame the lad? He pretty much lived alone in the remote wilds of York with his ailing mother (now dead) before coming to the big city with the promise of a job tutoring a family with three young boys. But when he arrives, he soon discovers that his employer and the entire family died at sea during a voyage to Europe. In his place is the new Earl of St. Joseph--Stephen Clair.

As might be expected, Stephen decides to hire Jamie on as his personal secretary (out of guilt and pity--the lad was promised a job and has spent every last farthing to get to London). And Jamie soon proves to be quite an asset as he sets about organizing the somewhat dissolute Stephen's affairs, trying to help him manage both his increading debt and his household. Over time, their relationship soon develops into something a little more than professional....but there are impediments to their union (of course). First of all, Stephen already has a lover (a greedy and villainous man-whore who wants to life the good life at Stephen's expense). Not only that, but Jamie doesn't just want some casual liaison with Stephen, he wants luuuurve! This is partly due to the fact that Jamie's mother was sexually "used" by a man and it ruined her life, so Jamie doesn't want to be treated the same way. He wants real love dammnit!

But all is not lost, because of course the rest of Stephen's household is conspiring to get the two men together. And this is one of the things I really enjoyed about this book. It sets up an alternative queer kinship structure in the house among all the servants, many of whom have been socially shunned for different reasons. Abby is a strong woman who wants to be a stable master but gender conventions won't allow it until Stephen hires her. Charles, his valet, was fired from another aristocrat's employ after being found with his male lover. Rebecca is a gorgeous but poor young woman who was sexually harrassed by men at all her previous jobs but finds safety and respect in Stephen's home, etc. Together they create a new family unit that protects and respects one another. And of course, when Jamie is eventually kidnapped by Stephen's evil man-ho, they all work together to find and rescue him.

Like most traditional romances, this one ends with the usual Happily Ever After moment. But, pleasantly enough, it wasn't overly saccharine or irritating. For me, it worked.

Although the novel glosses over the difficulties or rather, historical impossibilities of having an openly gay relationship between two men in Regency England, it was a rather nice fantasy narrative that put a fresh and fun spin on the regency romance sub-genre. Now I just need to track down a copy of Pembroke Park by Michelle Martin, which is the a famous lesbian regency romance. But I'm on the lookout for any other queer regencies out there. If you know of any, pass the titles along to me please!